April 28, 2015

A little bit softer, now

I don't do well with people yelling at me to do things... just ask any of my old P.E. coaches.

I am not very competitive and have always preferred solitary activities like dance, yoga, horse back riding, tennis, etc. During my soccer days, I was usually the goalie, and not half bad. I liked guarding the goal, rubbing chalk between my gloved hands, and waiting for the ball to come shooting at my head, rather than chasing it down the field. I once participated in a company-wide 30-day health challenge and was the only participant to not fluctuate a single percentage on the scale. I'm the human placebo. I only run if I'm being chased, and even then, I'll depend more on my wit than speed. My husband once told me, "You should probably have a back-up plan if you're ever being chased by a wild animal". I do: scratch it behind its ears and rub its belly, duh. But I digress. 

Everywhere we turn these days, someone is telling us what to do, how we should be doing it, and how to be better, faster, happier, more successful.  I get it, pushing ourselves is necessary, but we live in such a noisy world and it feels like everyone is constantly yelling, trying to be the loudest in the crowd, wanting to make sure they are being heard. Our culture is unique in that it embraces self expression, the sharing of opinions, and speaking of personal truths, but lately it feels like everyone is competing for the same audience. Since we are constantly connected through technology and social media, the noise can be overwhelming. As a blogger, the irony of this post is not lost on me, but to be honest, I have been doing a lot of reevaluating about my presence here. 

Do I have really anything to talk about? Am I just adding to the noise?

This space has seen me through my "adolescent years" as a blogger. Without having a clear direction, this blog was simply a place for me to document my everyday life as a twenty-something and write down a little bit of what I know about marriage, moving, making a home, work, pets, and places around the world. I've had sudden bursts of inspiration and long gaps of silence here. Unlike my first blog (long retired), I didn't have a goal going into it of growing this space, advertising anywhere, or collaborating with other bloggers. It may not be my best writing, but at least I know it's my own voice. I like having a simple space to come to when I want, and I am sincerely grateful for those who have read along and waited for me here. And sorry for all the flip-flopping I've done. I'm trying to figure some things out in terms of my new business and I don't really know yet how much of that will be reflected here. I know there are bloggers who have seamlessly blended their businesses and personal lives while the whole internet watched, but the thought of that straight up scares me. I'm leaning towards creating an entirely separate, new space for my business and keeping this one about my everyday life, but two unique spaces feels overwhelming. See what I'm doing? Noise. Noise. Noise.

So that's probably all I have to say about that today.

Peace & quiet & love,


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