April 24, 2014

Heavy on my heart

It's 3:45am and I can't fall back asleep. There are a thousand thoughts running through my mind, most of which about recent news affecting several people in our lives, and the sadness I feel for them all. Being a twenty-something adult (and perhaps beyond, though I wouldn't know yet) reality seems to come in waves of crushing pain and comforting peace. There are times when I feel utterly invincible and others when I'm fragile, toppled by a mere breeze. The past few weeks, that breeze has felt more like a hurricane, and I'm waiting for the pieces from it's path of destruction to settle. Friends our age are dealing with the loss of their parents, shocking diagnoses, traumatic injuries, and hardship in ways I couldn't begin to conceive. Others a generation older are struggling to find work, get insurance, and pay bills, let alone plan for the next few decades. Our grandparents, though in some ways still very healthy, are adjusting to rapid declines in physical and mental strength and are increasingly dependent on those around them. Obviously we are still in a season of celebration, with Easter less than a week behind us, and while these are all heavy experiences that are weighing on my heart, the words that come to mind are not ones of despair but of desire. I desire peace, comfort, hope, and joy for those in my life that are needing it most right now. I desire faith deep enough to remain strong in times of trials. I desire health, and to be able to help however I can, even if it simply means functioning on little sleep to pray for friends at all hours of the night. I desire wisdom to see windows of opportunity to give, grow, and gain as much and as often as I can from these moments. For as even the biggest waves slip back into the sea, these too shall pass. 


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