A few months ago I signed up for an e-course taught by one of my favorite artist/blogger/entrepreneuress's, Kelly Rae Roberts, and only four days late, I caught up on the first few lessons today. I was inspired to write a letter to myself to re-read again in a few months, and to list both my fears and goals in order to dissolve the discrepancies between the two. She said that writing out her fears, "naming" them, made them seem less vague, and therefore... less scary. I actually struggled over this because I couldn't even think of the perfect words to convey what I really felt- to make my fears seem as big, and mean, and real as they are.
Alas, I came up with three choppy sentences.
Three somewhat pathetic reasons for all of the things I claim keep me from pursuing my wild, crazy dreams. Even of those three, there was only one truly identifiable fear: failure.
Failing to use my resources well.
Failing to meet expectations of those who support me.
Failing myself and feeling stuck.
Then I had to come up with as many counter-arguments. This was surprisingly easy. After all, I've known the answers to them all along.
Trust God to provide and the desires of my heart.
They already love me for WHO not WHAT I am or do.
Embrace challenge. Learn from mistakes. Keep going.
So there it is. The big bubble that hangs over my head; over every choice I make; and in between where I am now and wherever I am trying to go like an impenetrable fog. This fear that has put so much doubt in my mind over time. So now that it's there, and I know where I need to go-
I just need to figure out how I'm going to get there.