There was nothing good about today...
Unless you count me wearing real pants for the first time in a week, or not needing to take awful pain meds anymore, or finding out this ordeal helped me pitch a few pesky pounds, or that I finished the two first books of the Hunger Games series in two days (ugh, so good!)...
But really, other than that today was filled with worry, fear, bitterness, and exhaustion... Mostly concerning -no surprise here- money. The hospital bills will be coming in, our kitchen still isn't done, I left a job that ended up costing us more than I made (in the real estate world, everything's possible), and our emergency fund has felt more like an I.V., dripping life into our checking account veins for far too long. So today was pretty rotten.
That is, until just now... when I find myself completely undone over news from Dan. Out of the blue, he received a vague email from his boss explaining that someone "up top" has been impressed with his performance at work and requested a bump in his pay.
I am speechless (good thing this is a blog) as I process this timely gift. Dan said it is God telling us "Don't worry, I always have and always will take care of you. Honor Me." Tears literally came to my eyes and I realized how much I've been feeling sorry for myself and how consumed I have been by worry. Frivolous, fear-fueled worry.
If there is a telltale sign of a heart far from the Lord, it's one filled with worry. I am just overwhelmed that in the midst of one of the hardest seasons of our lives, when we've been fighting with our fists instead of falling on our knees... this gift has humbled us and given us a glimpse of hope.
Seriously, God is good.